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When cheating is not cheating
Cheating is bad, I guess everyone agrees with that. However, cheating is still a part of our lives, even if we openly state that the practice itself is not good. How come? I think I have an answer.
Note: although the article is about cheating in the academic environment, its ideas may apply to other flavours of cheating, including cheating in a relationship.
Follow up:
Let's analyze an example - a student, who is not necessarily a genius with an average of 11 points (out of the 10 possible), but one with a genuine will to learn. I emphasize the fact that what matters most is one's willingness to self-improve and to do things right. This student attends classes regularly, reads the suggested literature every now and then (on special occasions they may even go to the library :-), tries to understand the ideas explained by the teacher, etc.
Do you think that such a student is capable of cheating during an exam? Yes, that's possible, even though the motives are different from the motives of a "typical outsider who only came to a university because they believed money can buy education".
The outsider cheats because:
- this is their standard modus operandi;
- it has never occurred to them that learning can be fun (this is possibly a side-effect of an unhappy childhood, their parents used to make them read books as a form of punishment);
- they need the grade, not the knowledge;
- if they get caught, they'll just "throw more money at the problem" (notes: * usually they don't get caught because they're good at it. * anyway, everyone knows they cheat);
The good student cheats because... think about it before you continue reading. Remember about the reasons that made you cheat, write them down, post them in a comment if you feel like doing so.
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6 comments
iti plac raelienii?
Cheating is bad in any case, the point of the article is that sometimes it is less bad - but that doesn't mean we should employ this form of "problem solving".
As to cheating in a relationship, I doubt that talking about it is going to help...
In this matter people make a choice, and I believe it is wrong to even consider "circumstances" as a plausible excuse.
People who cheat either:
a) don't love you
b) don't know how to love you
c) are misguided in concern to the meaning of a "relationship"
d) have different ["modern"] moral values
e) have a self-destruction maniacal depression tendency
One can choose to find an excuse, but that doesn't make up for the deed. Anyway, cheating is a choice one makes.
Let me explain - the article is not about what makes cheating good, it is about what makes people think that cheating is acceptable. In other words, it is not about "us forgiving them", it is about "them justifying their own actions to themselves".
I think everyone has a rationale when they make a choice; people don't cheat because "I am evil and cheating is what evil people do for a living". They cheat if they have an excuse that enables them to continue to be able to look at themselves in the mirror (or if according to their philosophy, what they are about to do is not "cheating").
For a human, it is important that their inner world is consistent and their perception of themselves is a positive one (unless they are not "normal").
The right solution in the case of relationships, in my opinion, is to break the relationship if you know it is not working. What happens after that is not "cheating" anymore.
You're absolutely right in what you wrote, but then - you are also a reasonable person. People who do cheat are people who think in a different way, for them it is neither (a), nor (b)... they cannot reason the way you do - that's why they go for it.
Cunoasterea nu este un "zero sum game" (un tip de joc in care cistigul cuiva implica faptul ca oponentul pierde).
Asta inseamna urmatoarele: daca proful povesteste ceva la lectie si un elev a inteles tema, asta nu inseamna ca alti elevi nu pot s-o inteleaga.
In contrast (daca e zero sum game), daca in frigider este o ciocolata, iar fratele si sora sunt in competitie, atunci acel care cistiga primeste ciocolata, iar celalalt ramine cu nimic.
Informatia poate fi distribuita si copiata usor. Daca ai citit o carte, poti s-o dai altcuiva si altcineva tot va invata din ea. Daca ai copiat un fisier MP3 din internet asta nu inseamna ca ai intrat in buzunarul artistului si ai furat din el 5$, si nu inseamna ca altii nu vor putea asculta acel MP3.
In contrast, daca ai mincat ciocolata - nu mai poti s-o dai nimanui, ea nu mai exista :-)
Deci, omul mai experimentat foloseste arme pentru ca stie cum sa le foloseasca; el nu e responsabil de faptul ca oponentul nu le poate folosi. Nu le poate folosi din propria incompetenta\lene, nu pentru ca nu i-o permite omul mai avansat.
Eu aplic aceasta idee intr-un alt context - niciodata nu pariez. Daca nu sunt sigur ca voi cistiga - nu joc. Daca sunt sigur ca voi cistiga, nu e cinstit fata de oponent - nu joc. Acest principiu il aplic cu prietenii; cu strainii e mai simplu - nu joc :-)